Of all the joys I’ve had as a social coach, the biggest one has to be hearing the success stories. I haven’t been able to keep in touch with all the guys, but every time I hear about a former student breaking through – with girls or otherwise — I smile inside.
One guy, and I know he’s reading this, told me last week about the new long-term girlfriend he has after playing the field since our bootcamp. But today’s post comes from another alumnus, whom I worked with exactly a year ago.
He goes by the handle PVW, and when I first met him in San Francisco, he was an insecure, tentative, 5-foot-4 project. By his own admission, our private instruction went poorly.
How’s he doing a year later? Well, he’s still 5-4, but he’s giving the Dos Equis guy a run for his money as the Most Interesting Man in the World. If they made a remake of “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,” he’d play Steve Martin (the upstart loose cannon) and I’d play Michael Caine (the older, more refined one). You can read about his worldwide shenanigans on his blog, The Adventures of PVW.
I wanted PVW to share with you how he changed his life for the better, and he graciously took on the challenge. So here he is (he took creative license with the part about spelunking):
In the summer of 2008, I met GK during a spelunking session, just off the Rock of Gibraltar. Apparently, the women of San Francisco are not capable of satiating GK’s unquenched loins. Poor fucker. He had to turn to cave diving to get his rocks off.
He left me with a casual, “This too, can be learned,” as he handed me a business card. The next summer, I found myself receiving Private Instruction from GK.
Soon thereafter, I was awarded the “GK Worst Improvement Award.”
I fumbled through interactions, creeped folks out and did not have one genuine interaction. It was probably one of the worst/most embarrassing weekends of my entire life. Mainly because I was not acting anything like myself.
I know what you are thinking. “What? You’re sitting here trying to pimp GK and his services, but you’re saying he did not help you at all that weekend?”
That is a Big 10-4, gentleman. Guess why?
Because I did not want to help myself. GK has no voodoo magic that is going to get you girls. GK’s job is to help those who want help, not ones that want some tribal concoction that brings a new woman to your doorstep every night.
“So are you saying you learned nothing from GK?”
Oh touché, my presumptive friends! GK planted seeds that were to be sowed months later, when I wanted it. Once I acted on it. It solved all of my problems with girls. Here are my 6 Commandments.
1. Create the Necessity/Face Loneliness
I used to be addicted to seeking social approval. I have been doing it as a kid, and have been rewarded for it with a great job, great guy friends, and ZERO girlfriends, until my senior year of college. I was scared to death of being alone. I combated loneliness with the following:
- Facebook, Limewire, Myspace, seduction blogs (except for GK’s site, of course).
- Dick-to-hand resuscitation.
- Wearing out my welcome with family and friends.
- TV shows/movies.
Machiavelli states “Necessity is what impels a man to action. Once necessity is gone, only rot and decay are left.”
Spend some quality time, completely alone, until the only option is to socialize.
2. Inner-Circle Management
Let’s face it. We all have friends and family that suck, and bring us down.
Whether you want to accept it or not, some your friends and family are going to playa-hate. We have all had that Robert Horryesque Dagger plunged into our back .
This a good thing though, because it shows you where the “snakes in the grass” lie. It separates those who have your back, and those who just want to feed off your success.
Don’t hesitate — weeds need to be pulled, people need to be excommunicated and boundaries need to be set. It will make you powerful. Your fake friends will make fun of you when you admit that you do not have this part of your life together. Your real friends will challenge you when you are not living up to your potential.
Finding mentors with positive self images is also a very important challenge. More so than finding the right woman. If you want more details about this … ask about my theory on reverse cuckoldry.
3. Know Yourself/Seduce Yourself
GK and I are polar opposites personality-wise. He is like the Talleyrand to my Napoleon. GK is smooth and charming, where I am bold and alarming. GK taught me this: First you have to know who you are, then what you want.
When you've done this, approaching women isn't quite as scary.
I am the type of person who throws myself into situations. I have total disregard for consequences. Here are some of the highlights of my past six months:
- Evaded Thai police from arrest.
- Stolen a Parisian street sign.
- Ran with the bulls in Pamplona. Actually, wait, the Bulls ran with me.
- Swam the Escape from Alcatraz to shore.
- Got beat up by a Canadian woman.
- Quit what everyone told me is my dream job.
- Bought a one-way ticket to Europe.
- For more information regarding some of these events, watch as I flex my “Bloggin’ Muscles.”
I applied this concept to meeting girls. I always took issue with dressing up as someone I am not and delivering routines, scripts and clever one-liners. I don’t drink, so going to bars and clubs is not fun for me. I can not stand interacting with drunk women, or getting cockblocked by DB’s.
Instead, I started meeting people in real life. I love going to the gym, over-caffeinating and travel. I now find myself connecting with all sorts of people — including some great girls – on a real level.
Example: I met a guy in Barcelona. We call him LondonJoe. This kid had more game than EA, with a guitar that he used to seduce anything with a pulse. I interrogated this guy for any keys to the game, that would navigate me to social stardom. He gave me one special nugget of wisdom:
LondonJoe: “Whenever I am in a slump I give myself a Champagne Wanka.”
PVW: “What is a Champange Wanka?”
LondonJoe: ”Once a week. I Turn the lights down low, draw a bath, light some candles, pour some champagne and rub one out. I have been seducing myself for years.”
I could give you a litany of masturbation metaphors, but I feel like this one really hits the Nail on the Head.
Ha.
In order to effectively attract and seduce any woman, attract and seduce … yourself.
4. You can not intimidate a woman into being attracted to you
Leave the Macho Man act to this guy.
I used to think that you had to be a Bad Ass to attract a woman. Once, I was arrested for making intimidating eye contact during a routine traffic stop. (No bullshit. I have the documentation to prove it.)
For some reason, I could not start a conversation with the hot blonde at the bar. I used to think this might be an effective approach.
After watching GK spit some charm at some hotties, I realized maybe I should tone down the Macho Man act.
Believing you’re a Bad Ass is much more powerful than thinking and acting like you are Bad Ass.
5. Chicks dig scars…just not psychological or emotional ones
We all have had traumatic things happen to us. I have had some experiences that really warped my perspective. I have see the dark side of human nature. My resolve has been tested. My wit has seen its end.
My mentor is a Vietnam-era vet who narrowly escaped death by the Vietcong multiple times. This man has been there and done that. He preaches that “life is cheap.” Meaning, your death is closer than you think and you get what you make out of life. This man is the kind of leader I aspire to be … if I grow up.
Most women are attracted to him, most men want to be like him.
The question I constantly ask myself is this: How can someone who has experienced the very worst this world has to offer be such a satisfied, vibrant guy?”
The lesson: You can not guilt people into liking you.
Get therapy. Forgive your parents or tell them to go fuck themselves. Learn NLP. Find a mentor. Take medication(prescribed, of course). Do whatever it takes to get your psychological and emotional world together. Be happy. Women will be way more attracted to you if you are happy.
Now I must get off my Clydesdale high horse and admit these:
- Hot girls still intimidate me.
- I am still am bummed about a recent breakup. “Novermber Rain” has just surpassed “We be Steady Mobbin” on my iPod’s play count.
- I am currently unemployed. I left a career I trained my whole life for with no intention of going back.
- I cannot consistently stop women on the street and “seal the deal.”
Yet, I find solace in the idea that there are people like GK in my life who genuinely care about my success. If I trip, fall, stumble that guys like him in my life will help pick me up.
WAIT! Not “pick me up” like that …you tools.