I’m packing for more adventure – I’ll be visiting London and Dublin this week and next – and in my rush I wanted to give you something to chew on while I’m gone. My timeliness in mentioning this woman’s blog post/rant/edict is about as good as BP’s timeliness in capping the oil spill, but better late than never.
I ran across this fiery, five-year-old post about nice guys the other day, and I think it draws an accurate line in the sand between those who are nice because it’s who they are, and ”Nice Guys” who are nice because they expect something from a girl. I’ve made a lot of the same contrasts to my students. And as she said, guys can be some combination of the two. Here are three quotes I especially liked:
The guys I have met and known who could legitimately be called Nice Guys were, for one thing, almost invariably bitter. Either they have never gotten over being picked on in junior high/rejected by the popular girls in school, or they haven’t gotten laid in a long time … Whatever it is, they have a huge chip on their shoulders about it, and in their eyes the women of the world owe them for it.
Quote No. 2:
The Nice Guy usually has some glaringly big issues in his life that he isn’t dealing with– things that make him unhappy, but rather than address them, he is convinced that if only he could be with someone, everything would magically get better. (Yeah, guess what, it doesn’t. You still need to get a job/move into a better place/go back to school/get therapy/clean your toejam/tell your parents to piss off/whatever it is.)
Quote No. 3:
Bring something to the table besides basic human decency. I’m not talking about money. Be responsible for yourself, your life, and your happiness. Have good things in your life that you want to share with a wonderful woman, rather than expecting her to fill the holes in your life. Even if you’re a nice loser, you’re still a loser.
So, on which end of the nice-guy spectrum have you been on lately?
Stay tuned while I’m away. I expect to have some exciting news for you in the coming weeks.