Does practice flirting make perfect? Practice???

by GK on February 23, 2010 · 5 comments

It’s a special week here at Club GK. I’m making my TV debut Wednesday, when I’m scheduled to appear on a local CBS show called “Eye on the Bay” during an episode about dating. For you Bay Area folks, you can catch it at 7 p.m. For the rest of you, it’ll appear on the show’s Web site.

I don’t know if the appearance will help me attract new students, but what I’m really seeking is to get noticed for the cast of “Jersey Shore II.” I may only look Italian, but The Situation has nothing on my one-pack abs.

So, on to today’s topic. There’s a common issue that comes up when I’m teaching students in the field or just giving advice, and that issue is the concept of “practice.” Does it make perfect when it comes to flirting? Depending on the definition of the word, I can make the same rant Allen Iverson famously made. Practice? Practice? I think it’s a waste of time for most people.

I draw a line between practice and experience, and I draw it here: Are you actually interested in the person you’re flirting with? I can think of plenty of students I had to hold back from an approach when, after I pointed out a woman to them, they responded with something like, “OK, but just for practice.”

My response is akin to Yoda’s “Do or do not. There is no try.” If you know she’s not your type, you’re wasting her time and yours. You’re better off playing Farmville on Facebook, and that’s the most tedious thing around right now. Why lead her somewhere if you don’t want to get there?

It’s not that I’m against being friendly with strangers you aren’t attracted to. Above all else, I’m a social coach, not just a dating coach. And taking an interest in all people, be they hot models or grandmas (or hot model grandmas), can help a guy show more genuine interest in the ones he’s attracted to.

But if you’re getting numbers and making dates with girls you’re not into, I call shenanigans on that. Even if it feels good in the short term, it won’t make you better when it really matters. That quickened heartbeat, that adrenaline rush, that shortness of breath that comes with someone who actually is my type has no substitute, and only from experience with those kinds of women did I become more confident around them.

Just to clarify: this doesn’t mean you should only be aiming for 9s and 10s, whatever those are. Just the ones you’re potentially interested in. I’ve already made my sermon against putting numbers on girls, unless it’s with the binary system.

I make one exception to all this: If a guy is too scared to approach women who look attractive to him, even after I push him with all my 147 pounds, I’ll start him off with some practice flirting. But even then I keep it minimal.

I know it’s scarier to approach or escalate when you have something to lose. But it’s with those people that you also have something to gain. So save the practice for basketball. You heard me, Mr. Iverson.


1 Casual February 24, 2010 at 2:26 am

Cool, looking forward to the show!

2 andy February 24, 2010 at 8:58 am

you are becoming a vip 😉

i am lookig forward to see the funny gk show

3 matrix February 24, 2010 at 4:44 pm

congrats on getting some quality TV exposure

4 andy February 25, 2010 at 5:49 am

greg, the master of long videos 😉

you got her number?
you know, just for practice 😛

5 GK February 25, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Good one, Andy. :) I actually had a first date with her (not just for practice). The chemistry wasn’t really there, and we didn’t hang out again. But I think I’ll try meeting all my women on camera from now on!

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