Douchebags, and the women who love them

by GK on December 9, 2009 · 2 comments

Here at Club GK, I don’t watch much TV, unless it’s “Mad Men,” football or a Netflix movie. But after two episodes, I’m already captivated by a show that offers an unintentional lesson for guys who want to understand female attraction better. It even taught me an important lesson: JWOWW isn’t attracted to me.

"I think we've got a situation over here!"

"I think we've got a situation over here!"

The show I’m talking about is MTV’s “Jersey Shore,” which is to trashy reality TV what Picasso is to painting. I’m hard-pressed to even describe it, but I guess you could say it’s like “The Real World” with steroids and a fake tan. And it celebrates one of the most maligned demographics in the pickup and dating world: the douchebag. But in this world, douchebags get all the girls. To quote one of the ladies in the cast, “If you’re not a guido, you can get the (fudge) out of my face.”

Of course, douchebags aren’t limited to the Jersey Shore. If you’ve checked out your local bar scene, such as the Marina out here, there’s a good chance you’ve found them with young, hot-looking women on their arms. Heck, there’s a Web site devoted to this phenomenon. And plenty of more tasteful chaps (myself included) have been shot down by those same women, leaving us to wonder what we were doing wrong and what the douchebags were doing right.

More specifically on “Jersey Shore,” the cocky, muscle-bound, spray-tanned, Ed Hardy-wearing, overly gelled dudes are called guidos, which until now I thought was an ethnic slur against Italians. Except these Italians wear the term like a gold medal, and the girls consider it their ideal. 

The lovely Jenni, a.k.a. “JWOWW,” hides her male ambitions no more than she hides her implants: “I think it’s my mission to hook up with the hottest Jersey guido.” So, no interest in a skinny, non-Italian San Francisco social coach? Shucks.

I think a lot of guys have expended a lot of time and money in seeking to be the man who attracts hot, not-very-deep girls like JWOWW. After all, she looks like a 10, so she must be worth having, right? (See my post on rating women.) These guys have worn flashy clothes that don’t suit them, in nightclubs they don’t really like, practicing a cocky attitude that doesn’t reveal who they really are. And if they’re lucky, they take the hottie home for a night or two before she realizes he’s not the real thing.

Nope, I’m definitely not JWOWW’s type. The thing is, a man with some self-awareness might realize that she isn’t his type, either. Just one look at her clothes would rule her out for me. Hot women like her are female douchebags, so it makes sense that they’d gravitate toward guys like them.

And I say this with all sincerity: good for them. At least they know who they are and what they want. The guys on “Jersey Shore,” excluding the ridiculous one who calls himself “The Situation,” may not be the kind of guys I’d want to party with, but I admire their confidence. Douchebags think they’re desirable, so it’s no surprise some women do, too.

The good news is, there are plenty of attractive women who can’t stand douchebags, and they prefer down-to-earth, sweater-wearing guys with Transformers collections. And that’s where I come in.

So if you want to improve your game without learning a single technique, take some time  to figure out exactly what kind of woman you want, and how that kind of woman could relate to you. Because a lot of times, that’s really all it comes down to. It’s why I choose clubs that play 80s music over house.

Some women will never go for you, but the ones who are most like you probably will. So just go where those girls go, and give them the gift of meeting you. If that fails, get a spray tan.

{ 2 comments }

1 Eduardo December 9, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Great article GK. I think a lot of guys out there (including myself when I was younger) are brainwashed by what we see on tv and from hollywood and we feel inadequate if we can’t pull these “female douchebags”. It took me a lot of time and a lot of socialising to realise that there are heaps of attractive women out there who aren’t as superficial. I really enjoy your writing, please keep it up.

2 Casual December 13, 2009 at 9:07 pm

AlphaWolf just purchased the “Hot Chicks With Douchebags” book. It’s actually a pretty good read, and goes into some of the stuff you talk about.

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