In defense of dance clubs

by GK on July 28, 2009 · 4 comments

Just leave the leisure suit at home.

Just leave the leisure suit at home.

Some might find it ironic that although I’ve earned my greatest success as a Charisma Arts instructor from teaching guys how to connect with women during the day, I’ve had much of my personal success this year on the sugar-stained floors of dance venues. That’s right, easy-going Greg does have a party side.

Although I’d met women at clubs in the past — I even met an ex-girlfriend at one — I wanted to become more consistent with them. I’d say I’ve done that the past couple of years, and in doing so I’ve developed a fondness for dance joints. Not just for meeting women in general, but for meeting high-quality ones.

The club scene gets a bad rap for boasting random types of women, and I’ll concede I run into some weird or ditzy ones there. But I’ve also come to this stunning conclusion: even normal, educated women like to dance. And I know I like dancing and educated women. So the match works well for me.

This year alone, I’ve connected with the following women in nightspots that had dancing: a biotech professional, a law school graduate, a doctor, a financial-services professional, a pharmaceutical sales rep, an art student who was about to move to Paris, and an accountant who travels the world. Those are the ones I can remember, anyway. So brain cells and DJs can indeed mix.

I think one reason I’ve had so much fun at dance venues is that I stick to my kind of scene. I avoid the hard-core hip-hop or house joints in favor of music I actually enjoy dancing to: 80s, indie-rock, some hip-hop and other danceable pop music. I was compelled to write this after spending a night at Bootie, a well-known event at San Francisco’s DNA Lounge. I find it challenging to not have a fun time there, and I danced so much Saturday that my skinny tie was barely on by the end of the night. Of course, that’s because the accountant girl kept pulling on it.

I’m all for good conversation, and I realize that many guys avoid dance clubs because it’s harder to talk there. But there are times when I like to transcend words with a woman. One of the greatest turn-ons for me is seeing a good-looking, smart woman express herself on a dance floor. I find it easier to express my attraction by just locking eyes and joining her, and by the time we do talk, we’ve bonded in an immediate way that would be hard to get anywhere else. Dance is foreplay, in my book, and a man who can hold his own with a woman that way can expect some great experiences to follow.

I’ve been meaning to put out a little club survival guide on this blog. I’ll get around to that soon.


1 Beider July 28, 2009 at 2:59 am

Personally I do like clubs here in Berlin, but mostly because most of them have 3-4 floors + bar area + backyard. At least the ones I go to do. Which works great since I can talk to the girls outside and then possibly go in and dance with them if I feel like it. I usually don’t feel like it though, as I have two left feet. I’ve been wanting to improve my dancing prowess but I have no idea what kind of dancing class to take that would mesh well with club dancing.

Although, I have a friends wedding coming up so I was thinking of starting easy with some classical swing dancing lessons. Then hopefully if that goes reasonably well move up to other forms of dancing from there. I’ve actually been to a swing/classical dancing club here in Berlin, and I must say the 60s music is brilliant for me to get my groove on.

But one thing though, as I am fairly new to even interacting this much with girls I do not know and also have no dance skills I do find it hard to get anywhere with girls on the dance floor. Personally I am currently not very comfortable just dancing, since really I have no idea what to do on a dance floor and this “do what you feel like” that everyone talks about just doesn’t work for me. Because of this I have drawn the conclusion that focusing on getting girls on the dance floor at this point would be a mistake for me and instead I am putting my efforts towards chatting up the cute girls in the bar instead. I am hoping that with time and success in this arena the success will eventually carry over to dance floor game as well.

PS. A club survival guide sounds like a neat idea.

2 Andrew July 28, 2009 at 8:05 am

Howsit GK!

Yeah I agree think clubs get an unneccesarily bad rap. It helps if you choose a club that you yourself have fun in / enjoy the music, otherwise why bother?

And for sure there are quality people there as well, I mean if I’m there, surely there are other people like me there as well LOL

I look forward to your next post on club survival. Your blog is one of my favourites ‘cos your posts are always fresh & original and based on your own experience.

Dance is foreplay … wise words indeed

3 Ryan August 1, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Greg, I just found your blog a few weeks ago and I love it! This was a good post. I tend to stick to day game and I’m not much of a dance club guy (maybe because I’m not much of a confident dancer). but, this article has made me want to give the club scene another try. I just hope my native Raleigh, NC is as hot as the sweet sounding San Fran spots.

I’d love to see the club survival guide.

4 GK August 1, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Thanks for reading, Ryan! It took me a while to grasp the clubs, so you might want to try them some more. I’ll get that club guide out next week.

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