Now Where Do I Meet a Girl Who Can Read?

by GK on April 5, 2011 · 1 comment

I’m giving my blogging hiatus a one-day hiatus of its own, since I’m about to split town for two weeks in New York and Miami and I wanted to address this sad story.

Two weeks ago I stepped into my local Borders bookstore in Union Square for the last time. That Borders, like others around the Bay Area and the country, is going the way of newspapers and music stores — destroyed by the Death Star that is the Internet. There are now no big bookstores anywhere within a bus ride of my home.

I can’t say this is a bad thing for reading books. It’s cheaper to buy them online, and with the Kindle and similar products, it’s also easier to read them than ever. But it is a bad thing for the subject I’ve taught so well: meeting women in the daytime.

That Borders in Union Square was home to many memories for me, ever since my bootcamp as a Charisma Arts student, when my first approach was so bad I startled the girl right out of the store. Later, I proved myself as an apprentice there, and then I coached scores of guys and witnessed many instant dates there.

Sometimes I’d even spot random community guys and other aspiring pickup artists doing their own approaches in that store. It was like a workshop, and even though I rarely meet women in the daytime — I’m a night person — bookstores were my favorite day-game venue. I could spend hours there for the books alone, and if I see a girl nose deep in an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel, she’s already got a big point in her favor.

We’ve still got the mom-and-pop bookstores, and I’m glad. But you can’t just order some coffee inside and hang out with a book; you and the women are on the move, which makes the experience as random and unpredictable as most other forms of day game. And the Internet has taken a toll in other ways.

For instance, there are loads of coffee shops in big cities like this one, but free WiFi has turned them into mini-offices, where a lot of the women are working and don’t have time to talk, and there’s little turnover at tables. I was able to turn this situation into a date earlier this year, but it took a couple of hours of waiting for breaks from our laptops.

(Also, as in a regular office, you have to ask yourself if you want to risk running into the girl again and again after you’ve finished dating her.)

Not that I’m declaring the death of day game. Chances are you still have parks, squares, festivals, shopping malls (even though I hate them), museums, college campuses, buses, churches and myriad other options. Actually, if you’re looking for intelligent women in the day and and want to be efficient with your time, I’d suggest waiting a few hours for some early-evening game. As I’ve blogged about before, lots of museums are having relaxed nighttime events where drinks are plenty and children are not.

But wherever you meet her, it appears much less likely to be in a bookstore now. Damn you, Internet. Pretty soon you’ll be the only source for dating as well.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled hiatus.

{ 1 comment }

1 scn April 14, 2011 at 7:43 am

The concept of bookstore as pickup venue has always made me scratch my head. I normally walk into a bookstore absorbed in thinking about books I want to find for information I need. Maybe girls go into bookstores with more social mindsets than I realize. In any case, CA types seem to really grok bookstores for picking up.

I will admit to feeling frustrated for lack of good venues for meeting new people. I struggle with trying to meet people while they are out going about their own business. I perceive people as normally going somewhere or doing something for a reason, on a schedule. I see them as not readily prepared to bring all that to a screeching halt, change focus, and change emotional state just to have a meaningful social conversation with a random person. Even if he is charming.

When going out to public events like a football game, a movie theater, a museum, or a crowded restaurant, no one seems to go “to meet people.” Instead people go “to have fun.” Nearly always in a group with one or more friends. Following cultural norms and habits enforcing Chinese walls and social isolation. These groups have great inertia to be self-absorbed and keep to themselves.

And forget anything specifically labeled as a singles or mingling event. These are just magnets for low-self-esteem and damaged-goods types.

On a brighter note, I did have a hot one night stand after 45 minutes of talking with a pretty professional dancer at a small jazz event the other night, so good things can and do happen. :)

But I wish simply talking to new people or getting a date with the opposite sex didn’t require so much work. Seriously, the level of social wizardry and micro-emotional machinations discussed on this website is formidable. The sheer amount of effort needed to overcome all the powerful anti-social norms in the real world can really discourage me. :(

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