The 24-hour rule: When she says “I’ll call you”

by GK on March 19, 2009 · 5 comments

Here’s an example of what to do when a girl won’t give you her number, but offers to take yours:

I was making yet another outing at the Cat Club, this time for New Year’s Eve ’09, when I turned around on the dance floor and saw her standing in front of me. I love it when that happens, especially when it’s set to 80’s music — I’m almost expecting Molly Ringwald and Judd Nelson to jump from the woodwork and join in.

The night was almost over when we met, and all we did was dance to a few songs, flirting over the loud music, before her rides told her they had to leave. At that point I knew this about her: she was Nicaraguan, good-looking, single, danced divinely, and her guy friend thought I was cute. That’s it.

And so I had to resort to that trickiest of phone number closes — the club number close. Many is the guy who, after doing little more than bumping and grinding with a girl to the DJ set list, got a girl’s number only to familiarize himself with her voice mail greeting and nothing else. (Memo to those who are out of the game: thanks to caller ID, women don’t give out fake numbers anymore. Unless they’re cruel or think the guy is a potential serial killer.)

At least I hadn’t made out with her — that was checked off the list at midnight with someone else — so I didn’t expect an awkward response from her. But when I told her of my interest and proposed swapping numbers, she refused. “I don’t give out my number,” she said. “Give me your number and I’ll call you.”

There was a time when I wouldn’t have realized that response for the kiss of death that it is, and I would have settled for doing as she said. There was also a time when I would have gotten annoyed with her and ruined the vibe. This time, I did neither.

I calmly told her that women almost never call guys when they refuse to give their number, and I declined to give her mine. She then assured me twice that she would call, at which point I said something to the effect of, “OK, I hope you do call me. But if you don’t call me in 24 hours, you’re playing games.”

I’d never given a woman that kind of deadline before. And technically, it took her about 35 hours to call me back — I gave her some grief for that. But call back she did, and we had several fun outings after that. She later told me that she was impressed I called her out, and she may not have called if I hadn’t. The lesson once again: when in doubt, call it out.

I know there’s a tendency in the Community for guys to decry this kind of behavior from a woman and call it a “sh*t test.” And I think there’s some truth to the notion, especially in a club. But I think this was less a conscious test than simply being non-committal, and it’s up to a guy to offer some direction. Like it or not, a guy’s gotta lead.

I want to do a post soon about club numbers in general — they can be a lot more reliable than people think. For that night, I got two solid number closes — the Nicaraguan dancing queen, and some girl named Jenny. Don’t tell anyone, but it’s 867-5309.


1 robert_j March 20, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Nice blog Greg! Keep up the good work man. Cant wait to read about the club number close.

2 Beider March 23, 2009 at 12:03 am

Fascinating, it never ceases to amaze me how being direct and bold with women works incredibly well. Clubs are not my thing, as I don’t like the music type they play nor do I like it so loud.

However I shall remember your idea there of being blunt with her if she tells you to give her your number instead. I look forward to reading more of your insightful posts in the future.

3 Charith April 9, 2011 at 3:06 am

She says “you can leave your number instead”, I told her “I don;t usually give out my # but since you’re working I’ll do it. But if you dont text within 24hrs, you’re playing games”. Sure enough! , she texts 2 hrs later!

I think, if you think you built enough rapport, when in doubt, it is always good to say THAT LINE and leave the # with her. After all, what do you got to lose…lol
Thanks for the good line GK,
See you on the 29th.

4 GK April 10, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I’m glad that worked for you Charith! I expect you to get some numbers of your own during our PI. :)

5 Cindy January 11, 2016 at 12:10 pm

I hate my life but at least this makes it belrabae.

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