The Big Four Explained

by GK on April 2, 2009 · 2 comments

So far in this blog, I’ve covered a smorgasbord of topics that range from jealous girls to crab cakes. And you can expect more of the same — this stuff is just too damn fun for me. But as a coach for Charisma Arts, I cover a more streamlined skill set, and for those of you interested in learning how to have a kick-ass social life, I want to give you a clear idea of what I teach.

First of all, I teach whatever you need to know to be great — I won’t waste time with techniques that are incongruent with who you are. For most students, my idea of need to know falls under a few basic topics that Juggler Method covers.  They are the common denominator that most ladies’ men have.  They are the Big Four.

My former CA sensei, Rob Overman, passed on to me the four things he taught in his bootcamps, and I’ve taught them ever since to great results. Here they are:

  1. Talk about yourself: Here at Charisma Arts we stress the importance of statements over questions — they make us more relatable and they’re a lot more likely to make her open up than questions are. I teach my students everything they need to know to take conversations from platonic to personal to sexual, and to make them fun.
  2. Tell her you like her: A man who can’t show interest is a lonely man. So I teach guys how to show interest in a believable way, starting with just saying you like her and on to something sexual with a statement of interest. I’ll demonstrate this in the field, teaching how to show interest in different environments, then listen in and make sure you’re doing it right.
  3. Touch her: When done right this is another way of showing you like her, but we make it a separate category because it’s so important in making a connection with someone — even if it’s just a friend. It’s been said before, and I’ll say it now: if you don’t touch a woman, you’re invisible to her. So I’ll also teach you how to touch and calibrate it so you’re not going overboard. (Don’t worry, I won’t demonstrate the sexual touching on you.)
  4. Manage logistics: Whenever someone tells me about a flirtation that went bad, my first question is usually, “Did you get logistics?” And usually, the answer is no. I teach guys how to work through all the potential obstacles when meeting a woman, such as jealous guy friends, busy schedules and difficult locations.

I also pay close attention to your vibe to make sure you’re doing all those things the right way — bad vibe will ruin you no matter how well you talk about yourself, for instance. But as long as you’re having fun and are true to you yourself (and got some sleep the night before), your vibe will probably be fine.

I cover more specific topics, depending on what the guy is looking for — especially during private instruction, which is always one-on-one. These can include style, dating tips and just getting your social life in order. But the Big Four are always there.

Now, some of you may be thinking, “But GK, those things are too simple! I want to know how to isolate the hot girl out of a mixed group of seven at a hip-hop club and take her home with me!” Well, I will teach you that if you want, but it still falls under the Big Four (especially logistics).  Too many guys try to make this seem harder than it really is — they shoot fall-away 20-foot jumpshots when they could just as easily make layups. I teach layups.

When I watch the naturals who are great with women, the ones who know nothing about seduction strategies, I find they’re merely doing some simple things right. And what I teach is a reflection of that — natural game. Whether it’s day or night, bookstore or bar, the same principles apply. 

Ultimately, I think the Big Four is really about the Big One: confidence. But I can’t just tell a guy to be confident — this is a great way to help you get the experience to build that.

If you’re interested in a bootcamp or private instruction or have any questions, call me at  408-313-7453  or e-mail me at


1 Beider April 3, 2009 at 4:53 am

I like the way you summarize the basics so gracefully Greg. As I am just starting out I have decided to practice in steps, I am still aware of all the techniques like DQ, SOI, logistics, etc… But I have decided to start with talking slow, adding pauses and I perspective. I am also going to try to stay still and not fidget, not that I think I have a problem with this anyway.

I find this to be a great thing to start with since I can practice it in all my conversations, even with guys or family.

I am wondering though, do you have any suggestions for the order of learning the CA skill set or is this more a personal thing where everyone should figure out what they need to work on the most?

PS. I bet your boot camps are fun, I am going to go with Harry probably when I finally get around to doing a boot camp (as I live in Europe). However I don’t think I will take one until I feel comfortable with my AA and I feel like I hit a wall in progressing on my own.

2 GK April 3, 2009 at 1:40 pm

I’m glad to see you’ll be getting some instruction, Beider. Harry’s a cool dude.

Yeah, I do think every guy has his own sticking points to work on, and that affects how much time we spend on a topic. But I find almost all guys make improvement by working on the same things. And doing it in steps is a great to way to not overwhelm yourself. It sounds like you have a good idea of what to work on in the short term.

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