This topic was born in the comments section of my post on breaking it off with women, and I thought it deserved its own mention.
The question comes from Barry, who asks whether I think it’s worthwhile to bed a “slumpbuster” when in a dry spell, as I suggest in one of my earliest posts. Like before, I attested to the slumpbuster’s magical powers. His response:
Can I ask why? No disrespect meant, but am I not giving into frustration by doing so? I agree it gets you back in the zone or so, but maybe rediscovering where I went right or wrong in previous attempts could be more productive. I don’t mean to be an ass (which I am being) but I guess I feel by doing so-considering a slumpbuster-I’m admitting defeat!
I had a meaningful conversation about this subject in a podcast with dR, back when we were with Charisma Arts. You’ll see me repeat some of what he said here.
The term “slumpbuster” — an unattractive woman used to end a dry spell — was popularized by a former baseball player named Mark Grace (I have like 25 of his rookie cards from 1989). And it’s appropriate that he did it. Nobody knows the pain of a slump like a ballplayer.
It’s the perfect analogy, really. When an athlete slumps, he starts trying too hard. What once seemed easy now seems difficult because of a few bad breaks, and he’s created such a negative self-fulfilling prophecy that he plays scared or withdraws entirely.
This condition is otherwise known as Fourth Quarter LeBron-itis.
However, one cheap infield hit or easy layup can restore an athlete’s confidence and get him rolling again. Success in many walks of life comes in streaks, and this can be no less true with sex and dating. Many a man in a serious relationship, acting much more indifferently around women, has wondered why NOW they decide to throw themselves at him.
And lots of guys, including myself, have found that once a dry spell had ended and the smell of trying too hard had been removed, getting hotter women became a lot easier. I know you’re concerned with learning from mistakes, Barry, but there’s no need to punish yourself while you learn. And often, especially for experienced guys, dry spells are more about luck than skill.
Now, am I suggesting you grab the nearest disgusting, annoying beast of a girl? Of course not! By slumpbuster, I’m talking someone who’s a notch or two below the caliber of woman you’d normally consider attractive. I hate using numbers with women, but if you normally hook up with sevens, this means hooking up with a five.
She should at least have SOME attractive quality, whether it’s her eyes or her encyclopedic knowledge of American presidents (if that turns you on). If you need a double-shot of Viagra just to seal the deal, it defeats the purpose of busting a slump. You’re liable to believe your slump is unchanged.
Otherwise, I see no reason to admit defeat. One beer-soaked dalliance with a less-attractive woman doesn’t mean anything in the big picture. (That said, if you’re going to find a slumpbuster and you’re concerned about your reputation, do it away from your usual hangouts. Because women will judge you by the caliber of girl you hook up with.)
There are limits to the Slumpbuster Rules. Do not return to her or seek out another less-attractive girl, because that can lead to settling. You’ll have removed that sexual urgency, so use that opportunity to meet the kind of girls you normally go for.
In the meantime, here’s a little ditty to inspire you: