Question 1: The girl in the park.
Acceptable answers: C or D. You definitely don’t want to keep letting her do what she’s doing, and while there is a time to get tough with a girl, this isn’t one of them. Whether you choose the more direct or humorous route is up to your personality, but you’re going to want to call out those logistical challenges one way or another. I’m confident almost every student I coached in the field, especially the ones who scored instant dates, would tell you this: Logistics will make or break you in day game.
And although I had no E as an answer (always breaking the rules that guy), Rob’s response about making her laugh is spot on.
The lesson: Women respect guys who respect themselves.
Question 2: The lady with the business card.
Acceptable answers: C. It’s not that B couldn’t work — this woman isn’t necessarily testing the guy intentionally. I’ve had women who were interested in me give me their business cards because it’s simply what they were used to doing. A friend of mine met his eventual wife when she slipped him her business card in the park.
But as Rob said, if you only have her work info, there could be some major logistical challenges in contacting her. What if she goes on a two-week business trip? Bad news for you, buddy.
And maybe, just maybe, she is testing you intentionally. You’ve been talking at an after-work setting, after all, and she might be used to men chatting her up platonically there. It could be that she wants to know you really are interested in her — otherwise, she might file you as either a future Linked In contact or another gutless guy.
The lesson: As Rob once taught me, women want a sure thing. Here’s your chance to be one.
Question 3: To dine or not to dine?
Acceptable answers: A or B, as well as Rob’s answer that I didn’t include: Simply take her to dinner.
This is one where I differ from Rob a little: I’ve never had a dinner on a first date that wouldn’t have been just as good had we gone for drinks, and it’s tough to find a cheap, date-worthy meal in a city like San Francisco — especially when you’re dating multiple women as I do. And from years of serial dating, I can say there are some girls who agree to a first date because they’re genuinely interested in you, and there are some girls who don’t know what they want, but they may as well get some free food or drinks. I prefer to screen the latter ones out.
On the other hand, of the three serious girlfriends I’ve had, I treated all of them to dinner on a first or second date — including venues they suggested. So take that for what you will.
B is the answer I’d be likeliest to give. I cook a lot, so my usual excuse is that I don’t want my groceries to spoil. I’m OK with A in theory if you’re the direct type, but keep in mind you’re going to turn off some women that way.
The lesson: Know what you want for a first date so you’re playing by your rules, not hers.
Question 4: The blue-balls dilemma.
Acceptable answers: C.
This is one test I’m usually happy to get, because it means she either wants to have sex or is at least considering it. One thing I’ve often said to “We’re not having sex tonight” is, “I never said anything about having sex.” This is one old David DeAngelo response I actually agree with.
As Rob said, you don’t want to negotiate sex verbally, and you can’t talk a girl into it. But you do want her to know what you want so that she can feel more comfortable with what she wants. I’ve said some varation to answer C and had it work out more than once — sometimes that night, sometimes soon after.
The lesson: Whatever you do, don’t whine or pout when she cuts you off physically. That will get you nowhere.
Question 5: The long walk home.
Acceptable answers: C
I like this test the most because there’s a twist to it, and in this case, I was the friend the girl was referring to at the Halloween party.
The thing is, she knew she wasn’t going to go home with the guy that night, but she wanted him to try to walk her home anyway. That would make him worth seeing another time, and the guy did pass the test.
A little quirky? Yes, but that’s the kind of thing women do. Of course, other girls in that situation will go home with the guy if he leads — and handles the logistical issue of her friend — so the answer is the same regardless.
And please, please don’t ask her if she’s trying to have sex with you — I’ve heard of coaches who actually teach that. Ugh.
The lesson: Good things happen to guys who close.
You know, I rather enjoyed wearing my professor’s jacket. I’m going to break it out again and give you guys some more tests another time.