The Real Game (or How I Realized that Pickup Techniques are Bullshit), Part I

by GK on January 28, 2012 · 3 comments

I’m excited to share this two-part guest post with you, because I’ve been badgering (heck, honey badgering) this guy into sharing his insights on this blog. It’s from my good friend Tre Tre.

Chances are that if you’re reading this blog, like me you’re familiar with some of the pickup-artist theories and techniques out there. Even if, like me, you’ve realized so much of them as incomplete and misleading. Or maybe you’re a fan of them, and if so, that’s your right.

But for anyone who’s learning to overcome his social fears, I urge you to heed what Tre Tre says about the downfall of pickup techniques in pursuit of women. I can’t think of anyone I know who lives a more genuine, purposeful and adventurous life than him, and he’s the friendliest guy you’ll meet.  He’s hardly a pickup artist when we’re out, yet he attracts hot women with minimal effort, and he’s earned the nickname Tre Tre by enjoying more threesomes than your average rock musician. I should add that he’s 5-foot-9, balding and low in cash.

You can also read about how he once taught a famous local athlete about game. Take it away, Tre:

“Since its inception, pickup has been centered around various theories,  broken down into a series of techniques for their application. In the vast, open space of learning how to meet women, pickup gurus make their cash in giving you, the novice, techniques on how to make that woman fall for you.

While the logic they base their theories on is often completely reasonable, they don’t address the core problem. Nor do they provide the individual with a way to reconcile his personality to the actions he’s delivering.  Many well-meaning guys become frustrated by a saturation of technique.  It is almost as if you are a B actor given a B script and you now have to give the performance of your life in front of a woman who’s looking for an Academy Award-winning performance.  You’ve lost before you even began.

pickup artiest pua

This style may not be for you.

Pickup today is devoid of strategy; it is almost entirely tactics and frameworks.  The tactics may be interesting, but as we collect knowledge and theory, the reality of their everyday application is often very different.  The accumulation of all this knowledge can become paralyzing because, in the heat of battle, your emotions kick in, your mind becomes cluttered and you can’t summon the right technique at the right time.  You fail and often don’t think of the right thing to say or do until after the interaction is well over.

This doesn’t mean that analysis and ideas don’t matter – far from it.  It is all about marrying the RIGHT ideas and applying the RIGHT lessons to actual experience in a way that allows us to connect with who we are to the world as it actually is.

It is about being so cognizant in the present moment that you are sensitive to everything that is happening around you.  You are pulled out of the present moment when you are stuck with your own thoughts, trying to apply a series of theories and techniques that happened in the past to an entirely different problem.

Forget your PUA techniques and focus on winning the battle of your mind.  All the knowledge, experience and techniques have limitations, as no amount of thinking in advance can prepare you for the chaos of life and the infinite possibilities of the current moment.  To win the battle of your mind, you have to do three things:

  1. Become aware of your weaknesses and fears.
  2. Develop Presence of Mind.
  3. Commit to continual movement: put yourself into your most fearful situations and redefine yourself every day.

Your emotions are much stronger than your mind.  If you haven’t prepared your mind for the moments where your emotions grow in intensity, your emotions will win every time.  You need strength, not more knowledge or techniques.

You can’t win by reading this article.  You can only do it by practicing, experiencing and suffering through it as you gain strength. You will fail at first, but you will rule at staying calm in the midst of chaos, to the point where you will always be finding a way to win.  If you let it slide for a moment, you’ll slide back into letting your emotions control you.

Exercises for developing these skills will be discussed in Part 2.”

{ 3 comments }

1 The Captain Power February 4, 2012 at 7:44 pm
2 Barry March 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Hey Greg and Tre Tre. When can I expect Part 2?

3 GK March 24, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Hey Barry, we haven’t forgotten about this! Unfortunately Tre is really busy running his start-up company, and his writing time has been minimal. But I promise to keep harassing him. :)

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