When a Woman’s Age Matters

by GK on August 29, 2011 · 1 comment

One of the many ways I’ve taught guys has involved age — factoring how old the guy is along with the age of women he’s trying to meet. Sometimes, it makes the difference between happy dating and tragic dating; sometimes, it doesn’t matter at all.

I’ll do a little breakdown in this post, but I’ll say it simply first: age and age differential matter far more if you’re looking for a serious girlfriend than if you’re just looking for casual fun.

In most cases when we’re talking about women, we’re talking about younger ones. Guys tend to prefer them younger, and with good reason: young women tend to be hotter. In case you hadn’t noticed, we men are a visual lot. Also, as I’ve mentioned in my post on rating women, there are social pressures that lead to us chasing the “10,” even when she doesn’t have much else to offer.

Those social pressures range from our friends to Hollywood, where it’s somehow plausible that a midlife-crisis-suffering Jim Carrey is saved by an attractive, upbeat, early-2os Zooey Deschanel (I’m talking about “Yes Man”).

I’m not about to stand on a soapbox and preach against dating young, hot girls– if you averaged it out, I’d guess the women I’ve dated/hooked up with were five years younger than me. I had a 19-year-old girlfriend when I was 26, and it was a normal relationship. This isn’t strictly about age — it’s about tailoring the right girl for the guy.

For instance, let’s say you’re a 36-year-old, career-oriented guy who would like to settle down and start a family in the next few years. You own a house, you eat fine foods and you’re not a big partier. Which of these girls might be better for you?

A: A smoking-hot 23-year-old grad student who has a proclivity for dancing at house clubs and might be living anywhere in the next two years.  

B: A 29-year-old who doesn’t turn as many heads but still stays in great shape, has a steady job and would like to commit and have kids.

I’ve met some guys who consistently go after Girl A yet complain about staying single.

Now, if that same 36-year-old guy lives a youthful lifestyle, looks good for his age and isn’t so concerned with settling down, suddenly Choice A makes a lot more sense. So again, it’s not all about age here.

That said, in my experience I have noticed different truths and myths about women of different ages. I’ll break them down, along with their dateability, here:

Women 19-25: This is your basic college-aged girl. While there was a time when girls this age were looking to marry or settle down early, those times have changed in much of the Western world. This survey offers one example of that change in America.

The pros to such women are as follows: they’re physically in their prime, they have less baggage, they’re more open to trying new things and they’re a lot of fun. For all the talk of women reaching their sexual peak in their 30s, I don’t find the younger ones to be any less lusty.

The cons: It’s really one major con, and that’s a lack of life experience. These girls often don’t know who they are or what they really want, and if you live in a place like California, they’re focusing on their careers and having fun first. Even the ones who seem mature for their age and say they want a relationship will often show their immaturity when you don’t expect it. So looking for a long-term partner in this neck of the woods might get you lost.

Ideal for: Guys who are in their 20s or who just want to have fun.

Women 26-32: These girls are more likely to have established their careers and settled down in a geographic area. San Francisco is full of such career-oriented women who have moved from other cities. They may have been married or engaged once, but many still haven’t reached that point.

Pros: The more health-conscious girls still look and feel great. They’re more secure in themselves and less likely to choose douchebags over you. 

Cons: Some of these women have paid the price for being so career-conscious, at the expense of their social skills and health. Beware of the ones who look physically attractive but are emotionally wrecked from too much fast food and bad dating. Also, if you’re not looking for a relationship, you might struggle with this age range because of a contrast in agendas.

Ideal for: This is your prime demographic for guys who are in their 30s or beyond and interested in commitment.

Women 33 and up: We’re approaching “cougar” territory at this point, though many don’t deserve that term. I find women in their mid-30s to early 40s to vary. Some may have divorced or been burned but want to commit again soon, others are career women who lack relationship experience, and others are acting out their “Sex and the City” fantasies.

Pros: I’ll let Benjamin Franklin make the case for me. He preferred older women for casual dating, and here’s one of his reasons: “Because when Women cease to be handsome they study to be good . . . there is hardly such a Thing to be found as an Old Woman who is not a good Woman.” I know one guy who spent a large chunk of his single years having flings with older women, and he loved it.

Cons: Some will have too much baggage for a serious relationship, and younger guys may have a hard time connecting with these women. And of course, they’ve got wrinkles.

Ideal for: Guys who are over 40, or pool boys.

{ 1 comment }

1 B (in Philly) November 16, 2011 at 11:57 am

There’s no questions or comments because you covered everything, not because we’re not reading this :)

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