When boyfriends appear

by GK on June 23, 2009 · 1 comment


This had happened to me before, but only rarely. Over the weekend I was getting my flirt on at a local club called Vessel with a comely spitfire of a redhead who looked and dressed like she was straight out of 1963. The vibe was good between us, even though she fessed up that she has a boyfriend. “I might break up with him in a week,” she later added. So if you’ve read my previous posts on women with boyfriends, you know the ball was still in play.

What she didn’t tell me until it was too late was that her boyfriend was entering the premises. Soon after I learned this, I was right in the middle of asking for her number when she pointed behind me, and I looked up. Way up. There he was, all 6-foot-5, 290 pounds of him.

I think this nightmare image is one reason why guys shrink from approaching women, be it day or night. And it’s bound to happen to any guy sooner or later. But with a little charm and common sense, I find the nightmare rarely becomes reality. Keep these pointers in mind:

  • Be precise about your logistics: Don’t expect the woman to tell you her boyfriend is near. If she likes you or is friendly, she may not. Even in the bookstore, with him in the next aisle, I’ve had to be the one to ask. 
  • Keep your cool when he appears: Don’t bolt as if you were caught in the middle of a diamond robbery. With that redhead’s Bluto of a boyfriend, I immediately turned my attention to him and warmly introduced myself.
  • If he’s hostile, kill him with kindness: It’s easy for me to stick with this rule because at 147 pounds, I’m much more of a lover than a fighter. With Bluto, I told him he was a lucky guy to have her and made some chitchat with him before walking away. Thankfully, he wasn’t the hostile sort, and most boyfriends aren’t. In the 10 percent chance that he is, I’ll stay friendly until he looks like an absolute fool in front of his girlfriend. I’m pretty sure I cost one guy his relationship by just being nice to him while he tried to intimidate me in front of his girl.

If you’re feeling daring enough, you could try distracting the boyfriend briefly and quickly getting her number — I helped my friend do that once. In this case, Bluto didn’t take his eyes off her, and I ended up meeting an art student and partying with her the rest of the night. No boyfriend there, thankfully.

{ 1 comment }

1 P.T. June 24, 2009 at 12:18 am

Another cool post. thanks man.

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